ヴィンセント・ヴァレンタイン (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
cloakandclaw) wrote2008-04-29 06:36 pm
cloakandclaw) wrote2008-04-29 06:36 pm
[Milliways] Seeking the Familiar
It's silly: he's knocked at this door more than once since his return and there hasn't been any answer; he has no reason to believe that Tifa is anywhere but back in Midgar. It's where she was when he left for the Western continent and if there's any justice at all in this universe, it's where she is right now. He hasn't seen her the few times he's been at the bar; he hasn't seen her when he's been outside although... it's hard to see somebody from the depth of the forest. It's just... there hasn't been very good reason to be sociable. He's used to solitude; he's used to accounting for his time only to himself and, occasionally, to Lucrecia.
She doesn't really listen, though.
At the end of the day, he's... still Vincent and as long as Chaos is held at bay, he considers himself still human. And humans are social creatures and it's been some time since he was among friends. As much as any other man, he misses the people he knows even though he prefers to be alone. That's what he tells himself, at least and so... if that's true... why is he standing outside the door to Tifa's room, his back against the wall, as if she's going to miraculously appear?
Because he's lonely, but admitting that is... weak and... needy and... he already has enough to repent for. He has zero desire to be a burden of any kind at all to Tifa or to any of his friends and perhaps he clings to the idea of Tifa because she was a familiar sight in a strange and new place. But she's not here now and standing by her room is futile and more than a little pathetic; shaking his head, he turns to go.
He gets five paces down the hall before he turns back, makes his way with determined steps to her door, lifts his hand, and knocks.
He has absolutely nothing to lose but hope.
She doesn't really listen, though.
At the end of the day, he's... still Vincent and as long as Chaos is held at bay, he considers himself still human. And humans are social creatures and it's been some time since he was among friends. As much as any other man, he misses the people he knows even though he prefers to be alone. That's what he tells himself, at least and so... if that's true... why is he standing outside the door to Tifa's room, his back against the wall, as if she's going to miraculously appear?
Because he's lonely, but admitting that is... weak and... needy and... he already has enough to repent for. He has zero desire to be a burden of any kind at all to Tifa or to any of his friends and perhaps he clings to the idea of Tifa because she was a familiar sight in a strange and new place. But she's not here now and standing by her room is futile and more than a little pathetic; shaking his head, he turns to go.
He gets five paces down the hall before he turns back, makes his way with determined steps to her door, lifts his hand, and knocks.
He has absolutely nothing to lose but hope.
no subject
It's getting easier: he doesn't even have to weigh her request with a long list of pros and cons this time and he can feel his eyes soften at her invitation. At this point he would do what she needs him to, but it's also nice to do something because it will be fun.
And it's nothing to do with fighting monsters, or at least not the literal kind, and he sets himself a new goal. This one doesn't involve repentance or atonement -- one would think his plate was already full of those -- but this new goal is to leave the darker memories to appropriate times and places rather than carrying them with him at all times. He's not so sure it's a goal he'll be able to meet any time soon, but if he focuses, he thinks he'll be able to attain it eventually.
At any rate it will give him something to work on while he's here. He would never tag along with Tifa all the time; he's far too used to being self-sufficient to allow himself to do that. But tonight, he'll have berry tea with her and hear all about her time back in Midgar if she'll share that with him. He liked visiting her there, seeing Cloud and Barret, meeting Marlene. And while he can't say he particularly enjoyed grocery shopping, it was an interesting change of pace.
He was alone enough again afterward, so... there's merit in spending time with friends, and no shame in actually wanting to do so.
Moving to the door, he opens it for her, waits until she's safely through, then closes it behind them. Never let it be said that Vincent Valentine -- no matter what he's become -- wasn't raised to be a perfect gentleman.